Image by Caligold via Flickr
So, as a parent, I try to stay on top of the baby news as best I can, but this one almost slipped by me.
Abbott, the manufacturers of Similac brand baby formulas, has initiated a voluntary recall of some of their powdered formulas. There’s the possibility of insect parts/larvae being present in the powder.
The company stresses that there’s “no immediate health risk”, babies who consume the formula could suffer from irritable GI tracts (and associated symptoms) and refuse to eat.
Abbott is offering full compensation for anyone with tainted product and has established a website for parents and caregivers to use to determine if their specific formula is affected.
Of course, the “no immediate health risk” bit doesn’t make you feel any better when it’s midnight and you’ve just discovered the formula you’ve been feeding your child for the last two weeks and the batch you just bought that day both may have bug parts in them.
That being said, kudos to Abbott for recalling the product. With it not being a major health risk, I’m sure some companies would have looked the other way. Of course, some companies wouldn’t have had beetle larva in their formula in the first place but… things do happen.
But this recall does bring up another issue. In researching the recall and what could be done about it, I read a variety of sites. And the one thing they all had in common, besides news of the recall, could be found in the comments.
There was a lot of snippy, critical, and sometimes mean comments being left by those who advocate breast feeding. Now, a few “This is why I breastfed” comments I can understand. But when things start taking on a more judgemental tone… now we’ve got an issue.
Look, I get it. Breastfeeding is the best way to go. But you know what? If we all did what was best for us, there’d be no McDonalds, no one would ever be an Oakland Raiders fan, and drug rehabs would close their doors.
I’m a guy, which means when it comes to a lot of these sorts of things, I’m ignorant. I always figured breastfeeding was pretty simple. Take child, put nipple in mouth, repeat with other nipple.
Then we had our daughters. And I came to find out that breast feeding often requires the patience of a saint, exactly the right size and shape nipples, a willing child, and a level of contortionists ability not found on the U.S. gymnastics team.
And even if all that is there, it still might not work.
In some cases, breast feeding just isn’t possible. Which, of course, doesn’t mean anything to the overzealous proponents of it who feel it is their solemn duty to slam any mother who — God forbid — chooses formula.
To spend the time posting comments that tell worried mothers that their babies are sick because they failed as mommys is, at best, insensitive and, at worst, deserving of a serious ass kicking. Only slightly less craptacular are those who see this as an opporunity to pimp their ware by posting links to their breast feeding courses, websites, or breast milk they’re selling on Ebay.
When we found out about the recall, it was my wife who went out in the middle of the night, to two grocery stores, to find replacement formula. And the night before, it wa my wife who stayed up all night because our three week old daughter was sleeping too soundly and too quietly and she wanted to watch over her.
Which, of course, my wife says “any mother would do.”
Maybe so, unless they were too busy trolling the Internet to slam other mothers.
Look, I have no problem with anyone advocating breastfeeding. At the hospital our daughter was born at we had several very nice and helpful lactation consultants who did everything they could to help my wife without making her feel bad. We also had at least one nurse who was an absolute witch and reduced my wife to tears because she wanted to supplement with formula.
To people like her and those who post as “godshelper” with criticisms and comments – have you ever held a hungry and screaming child? Have you ever listened to your own baby crying because she’s starving and your body — which just went through a nine month version of boot camp — can’t provide what she needs?
Imagine the fear. Imagine the frustration. Imagine the guilt.
Imagine all that, and then? Shut the hell up.
It takes more than sperm to make a good father and it takes way more than breast milk to make a good mother.
I wouldn’t trade my wife for all the milk-dripping boobs in the world.
And neither would her children.
And in the end, isn’t that what really matters?
Related Articles
- Abbott Recalling Certain Similac Powder Infant Formulas (bostonkayakguy.wordpress.com)
- A Breast-Feeding Guru Who Uses Formula (parenting.blogs.nytimes.com)
- Recall of Similac Powdered Baby Formula (webmd.com)
Carol Ann Hoel
September 23, 2010
Good for you, hubby and dad. You are right. I breastfed my two children without a problem. It was my choice. I have since learned that, like larvae in formula, breast milk may be contaminated also by influences outside a woman’s control. We live in an imperfect world and people should not appoint themselves judges of others. Not all women are able to breastfeed and not all women wish to do so. I am sure in the “old days” when formula was not available that some babies would have been healthier if formula had been an option instead of breast milk that for some reason did not work. A nurse made my daughter feel bad because she couldn’t nurse her baby, so maybe I’m on a rant. Anyway. Formula is a choice mothers may make with good conscience.
lmd
September 23, 2010
no one cares whether you formula feed or not. if you feel guilty because you fed your kid bug parts, take it out on Abbott labs. you are living in the past. breastfeeding advocacy is about information not judgement. either post helpful information about how women can avoid this horrible pain you and you wife obviously feel or find another group to attack and get some attention elsewhere.
Christian
September 23, 2010
OK then, and so there’s another one who obviuosly didn’t read anything I wrote.
For the record, I don’t feel even the slightest bit guilty for having fed my kid “bug parts”, for several reasons. One, becasue no one, including the manufacturer knows if said bug parts are actually in any of the formula we used. Two, because even if they were there, I didn’t put them there and had I known, I certainly wouldn’t have fed my daughter that formula.
And I’m living in the past? Well, if by the past you mean three weeks ago, last night, and today, then yup, I’m a “paster” alright. In case yuo missed it, let me refresh your memory on what I acually said:
“Breastfeeding is the best way to go.”
“I have no problem with anyone advocating breastfeeding. At the hospital our daughter was born at we had several very nice and helpful lactation consultants who did everything they could to help my wife without making her feel bad.”
Breastfeeding advocacy shouldbe about information and not judgement. And when it is, I’ve got no problem with it. My wife and I both hoped that with our second daughter she would be able to breast feed. It just didn’t work that way.
But, if you honestly believe that no one who advocates nursing ever judges or attacks, then I don’t know what to tell you. I was in the hospital room when the nurse brought my wife to tears because — in fear that our daughter wasn’t getting enough to eat — she asked to supplement with formula. I was there when the lactaction consultant harraunged my wife because she couldn’t manage to manuever her hands and the baby into the proper position.
And I read the comments. The “this is what you get for using formula” type jabs that some people posted as comments on articales about the recall. Some, not all, but some.
Maybe if you’d actually taken the time to read what I wrote, you might have noticed that I wasn’t attacking anyone or trying to get any attention. I posted on my blog, that less than a hundred people read on a daily basis. Yup, I’m an attention seeker.
Truth is, I’m just a guy with a wife and two daughters he loves very much who hates to see any of them cry. And last night, I did. Because of people who said mean and hurtful things.
You’ll forgive me if I get a little judgemental about that.
Heather
September 23, 2010
Dear Sir; I hope this comes out the right way.
You have made a correct statement
Breasts do not make a good mother.
And it is not anyone’s place to judge.
However, I do believe, with my whole being that my breasts have made me a better mother than I could have been otherwise. (I did say my & me.) I truly cannot imagine my life having not breastfed my children. It was such an amazing experience that it made me want to help other mothers. I believe breastfeeding is not only about nutrition. It is part of my “parenting” of my children.
Everyday, I see many different women.
Those who would never even consider breastfeeding. Those who might be willing to give it a try, but do not feel strongly for or against it. Those who want to breastfeed for 2 years or more. Those for whom, it comes very easily. And those who struggle day in & out.
My anger is not at “formula feeders.” It is at the formula MARKETERS. There is a medical need for it. It is true that not every baby will receive breast milk. And we are fortunate to have a substitute. But, every study for more than 30 years, has shown that no formula can even come close to breast milk. Yet mothers are targeted at a very vulnerable time. With… all I can say is…”a load of crap!” Using one type of milk substitute does not make you a “strong woman.” I could go on & on. But my point is this. Yes – a lot of strong emotions run in the area of motherhood. And anything, whether it is nursing or not, that questions a mother’s ability WILL get strong responses.
Perhaps your wife does things I may not do – as a part of motherhood. One thing alone does not make a good mother; but MY breasts do contribute to ME being a good mother.
Christian
September 23, 2010
Heather,
I think that came out just fine. A very eloquent position, said quite well. Truth be told, I’d venrure to say that there are a lot of women out there who probably feel the same way you do. I wish I could have come up with a better (and less reactionary) title, but I suck at titles and i was a little agitated
To your point – I can’t say if I agree or disagree because I haven’t paid that much attention to fomrula marketing. That being said, I can imagine it’s probably just as frequently obnoxious as those who advocate for nursing.
And I think you’re very right: one thing alone probably does not make a good mother. But one thing alone can help.
But from your words (and my wife’s), I’d say that thing that beats beneath yuor breasts probably has a lot more to do with making you a good mother than anything else.
Thanks for your thoughts.
Christian
Papa K
September 23, 2010
Man dude. Well said. I braved going up against the “Lactavists” one time on my blog (http://handstowar.wordpress.com/2010/06/23/defending-kim-kardashian/) and created somewhat of a shit-storm. Breastfeeding mothers are def passionate about what they do but I’m with you: Breasts Don’t Make A Good Mom (but they do make for a hot wife!)
Nice stuff
Heather
September 23, 2010
Thank you Christian.
However, I can’t compare Abbott Labs or Mead Johnson, or the others, to Lactavists (to which I would consider myself). For several reasons; the most important – that what the pharmaceutical companies (and they are) – are trying to come up with a substitute (man-made) for something that is Natural (designed by God, or Nature – however you believe.) And, most lactavists – do not make money or profit by those who choose (yes I said choose) to breastfeed.
And it is true that my heart is what makes me be a good mom. But it is with my heart – that I nurse my children. Again, nursing is not about just nutrition. It is a loving act that nurtures mind body & soul.
Thank you for thoughts as well.
Fearless Formula Feeder
September 23, 2010
Christian, I just linked to this post on my blog, and admitted that I think I am developing a huge Blogger crush on you (shh…don’t tell Fearless Husband…) This post is EXCELLENT. It’s really refreshing to hear thoughts on this issue from a dad’s point of view. And your responses to the few dissenting comments you’ve gotten so far have been priceless.
If you ever feel like doing a guest post for Fearless Formula Feeder (my philosophy is similar to yours – that breastfeeding is something to be encouraged and supported, but it’s still a choice, or lack thereof in some cases, and ALL parents should be supported as long as they are feeding their kids in a healthy way), please let me know. I’ve been dying to get a male voice on there, and so far, no takers…
Christian
September 24, 2010
FFF,
I’d be happy to do a guest post if you’d like. I checked out your site and found it to be very supportive and I think that’s what the whole issue calls for – more support.
Christian
Alyssa
September 23, 2010
AMEN.
Christian
September 23, 2010
Simple and straight to the point. Now if I could only write like that.
Darcie
September 23, 2010
Christian,
It’s so nice to hear a male POV on this! I don’t think you have anything to apoligize for. You are just defending your wife because you felt threatened.
@ Heather – I don’t get the who “marketing” ploy that formula companies = women not breastfeeding… if a mom wants to breastfeed I don’t think that a formula company’s advertising is going to change that. I think women turn to formula if they are having difficulty BF and aren’t getting the support they need…who’s falt is that? Not the formula company’s.
Also your statement:
“And it is true that my heart is what makes me be a good mom. But it is with my heart – that I nurse my children. Again, nursing is not about just nutrition. It is a loving act that nurtures mind body & soul.” What exactly does that mean? Are you implying if a woman doesn’t breastfeed she is not fully nurturing her child or herself? Maybe in your case, but not for every mother. If I was “pressured” into BF longer than I did, it most certainly would have been a detrimental to me and my child. My loving act was to stop BF.
Christian
September 23, 2010
Darcie,
Thanks for the kind words. I do think though that I get what Heather is saying, in both parts.
As to the marketing, my best guess is that the companies target the women who might consider breast feeding, but really don’t want to. The women who would rather get back to the life they had pre pregancy and stop being concerned with what they mght be putting in their bodies. By targeting those women with the idea of choosing formula making you a strong and independent woman, they might be able to change some minds.
As for the heart and soul idea… I don’t want put words in Heather’s mouth, but I imagine she feels much the same way my wife does. Which is to say that formula feeding is not necessarily less nurturing, but that connection that’s formed by mother and child during the nursing process is something “deeper”.
That being said, I can tell you that I was doubly relieved when my wife made the move to formula. For one thing, it meant so much less stress and upset for her. But, in a more selfish way, it was better for me because I got to share in the bonding moments with my daughter more often, as it was easier for me to feed her (pumping was a HORRIBLE experience).
I think the one thing we can all agree on — which just so happens to be my original point — is that no one should ever feel pressured either way.
Darcie
September 23, 2010
Christian,
Right so, if a woman doesn’t want to BF from the beginning then that is to who formula marketing is directed. Women that that don’t want to just don’t want to. BF “education” isn’t going to change their mind and lack of formula marketing isn’t either. BF education is beneficial to those who have the desire and interest and/or who don’t know anything about it. That’s where the change is going to happen.
I understand that BF can create a deep bond – I experienced that. It can also create the exact opposite which I also experienced. I know it’s hard for some women that haven’t been there, and have experienced that deep bond, to comprehend. There are many women that experience a feeling of anxiety, dreading feeding time, and BF IMPEDES them from bonding with their child. Kind of like if someone forced a Lactavist to formula feed…try to imagine that.
I do like the intent of your post – “snippy” comments do not benefit anyone. It makes Lactavists look self-righteous and doesn’t help their cause and makes women who wanted to BF but don’t/can’t feel worse.
Heather
September 23, 2010
Thank you for writing such a thoughtful post. It’s refreshing to hear a father’s point of view, rather than the normal bickering of women telling each other all the ways in which they are bad mothers.
What frustrates me most about this debate is the lack of empathy with other people’s unique situations. Breastfeeding advocates who see another woman feeding a baby formula should please, for the love of god, take a moment to consider that they may not have all the facts regarding that woman’s decision to formula feed. There are so, so many things that can get in the way of breastfeeding. Often, as was the case with me, the decision not to breastfeed was very, very hard. Hearing someone take a “that’s what you get for using formula” attitude when something like a Similac recall happens — that’s just hurtful and immature.
We’re all making the best decisions we can to raise our children in the best ways that we can. There is absolutely nothing wrong with trying to educate parents on the benefits of breastfeeding, but there is everything wrong with doing it by vilifying those who choose not to breastfeed. Parents need support, not judgment.
I’ll shut up now. Great post.
Christian
September 24, 2010
Heather,
As someone said earlier – Amen. I think the breastfeeding debate is, much like most debates, one that could be handled so much better if BOTH sides simply reserved judgment and considered each situation on a case by case basis.
Of course, I’m also the guy who told the lactavists (at least the mean ones) to shut the hell up in my post, so what do I know?
Summer
September 23, 2010
Thank you for saying this. I found it very encouraging.
And to the question of whether formula advertising lowers breastfeeding rates, I would add that we formula feeders are not mindless. We can choose to feed our children without the aid of ads, and when breastfeeding does not work out, we can seek formula even without samples and so on. I have never even seen an ad for the formula I use. I don’t have a TV, and I attachment parent, so those ads don’t cross my path. Yet I feed my daughter what she needs where my body’s milk leaves off. Because I love her, not because I am a dufus unable to do anything without a formula marketer’s go- ahead. I wish more lactivists acknowledged that BF failure is real and devastating, and we do not need anyone adding to the hurt by disparaging our babies’ food.
Darcie
September 23, 2010
Exactly!
Kate
September 23, 2010
Totally loved this! so nice to hear the dads speak up.
Thankyou thankyou thankyou!
(Also re-tweeted this, hope you don’t mind.)
Christian
September 24, 2010
Kate,
Don’t mind at all. Also don’t mind being a voice for dads, I guess. I think most of us probably just feel utterly unqualified to talk about the topic. But, given the situation, I had some things I wanted to get out.
Blogger #2
September 23, 2010
Thank you. A lot. I can’t help it that my boobs didn’t work and I was working with 3 lactation consultants at the time. And I took a lot of crap on Twitter from breastfeeding activists in the last 2 days who were gloating about how their babies are all so safe because they are lucky enough to have boobs that work.
I just want to encourage you that some of us appreciate your post and aren’t bashing you for standing up for us.
Christian
September 24, 2010
See, that”s the problem in a nutshell. I get, and can almost agree with the lactavists (is that actually what they’re called?) getting all up in arms over women who might choose to go the formula route simply for selfish reasons (I want to go out and party and don’t have time to nurse, for example). But, and maybe this is just my rose colored glasses here, I have to think those women are in the minority. What I can’t abide is how any one, but especially not another woman, could ever bash someone who made a legit attempt, but something just didn’t work. That would be like slamming a woman who was infertile for not having kids. And I would think that other women, above all, should understand that.
So thank you for your appreciation and I hope you know that there are a lot of us out there who fully support you.
Erin
September 23, 2010
Thank you. This post was exactly what I needed to read today.
Christian
September 24, 2010
Erin,
You’re welcome. Glad I could help.
hpierpont
September 23, 2010
Well written, and I must say it’s refreshing to see a man “get it” and stand up for his wife. I do not understand the need for bashing when the recall itself has not a single thing to do with breastfeeding. Your post was what I needed to read this evening, so thanks!
Fiona
September 23, 2010
Wonderfully written! For those that can breastfeed awesome, but until you have walked in the shoes of a mother who cannot feed her child that way (read: broken boobies, hungry child loosing weight, pumping 1 ounce every three hours) yeah, you cannot judge.
I will say I do quite enjoy formula feeding. My little bear gets to bond with dad and I get a break. So it is a win win for us. If she has to digest a bug arm here and there, I am sure she will survive! (the last part is a joke, of course I would not voluntarily feed my child bug arms!)
Christian
September 24, 2010
Fiona,
Oh come on. A little bug arm never hurt anybody! Except maybe the bug!
Liz
September 23, 2010
I think that in some respects lactation science is still in a sense in its infancy. We know how it works for the vast majority of women, but there are those outliers for whom it doesn’t come easily at all. For some of them it’s a discomfort (ok, let’s be honest: pain) issue. If they are confronted with a lactation consultant or, more likely, lactation counselor who insists that the latch looks right, so it must be right, they may still have pain issues. A mom who has a c-section or even some other sorts of interventions may find her milk “coming in” (as in ramping up to full production instead of just colostrum) late. If she’s dealing with hospital routines that have her nursing on a schedule her baby may be crying with hunger. Some women truly don’t develop enough glandular tissue to produce milk. There’s some speculation that assisted reproduction technologies are helping women get pregnant who in early times would not have and that the same hormonal problems associated with infertility may be associated with lactation failure. So yes, there are really women out there who wanted to breastfeed, who tried to breastfeed, but who, with the particular support they were given and the particular bodies they had were unable to. They may be a small percentage of women, but they have a very real need for a breastmilk substitute in a world where the milk in breastmilk banks goes to very sick infants, not normal healthy ones.
What those babies need are cans of formula produced according to the most stringent safety standards out there. They need formula that provides nutrients that will nourish them and nutrients that we know will nourish them. They don’t need ingredients added so that the company can make their product more marketable even if the efficacy of the ingredients is dubious. They need clear and accurate instructions about how to safely prepare the formula, including instructions about how to prepare it to reduce the possibility of passing bacteria along to the baby. The WHO has guidelines for this that include using water that is 70 degrees centigrade to prepare the formula.
I happen to be one of those women who persisted through a diagnosis of inverted nipples, followed by cracked nipples, to successfully nurse my son. I know how much sore nipples can hurt. I also know that for me persistence was worth it. I’ve helped moms who had sore nipples change position and find nursing comfortable for the first time. In part I could do that because I honestly believe that if the mom says it hurts than no matter how good the latch looks, it’s not good yet. I know that some of the moms for whom breastfeeding doesn’t work out probably could have had success with better support. I also know that sometimes the helpers aren’t expert enough to help (been there myself sometimes) and that in some cases there are anatomical reasons why breastfeeding isn’t possible (at least not complete breastfeeding – some women are able to produce some, but not enough milk).
In any case the decision to use formula whether a mom is “forced” into it by circumstances or makes an informed decision apart from breastfeeding difficulties is not for someone else to pass judgment on. What that mom needs is accurate information about how to feed her baby formula in the safest possible fashion, and formula that is produced in the safest possible fashion as well. Formula will never replicate the mother’s own milk. Breastmilk is a living substance that changes in subtle ways so frequently that no formula can replicate it. However, babies need to be fed and a carefully prepared formula is a reasonably safe substitute in the developed world. A formula fed baby may make more trips to the doctor, but in the U.S. his chances of dying from not being breastfed are not tremendously high. In the third world the case is different, however. There the use of infant formula is extremely dangerous for a number of reasons.
As far as the bonding issue is concerned no one should be passing judgment on how much another mother loves her baby. However, the biological connection between a breastfed baby and it’s mother is simply greater due to the mother’s hormonal status. A breastfed baby continues to be more “biologically connected” to its mother for its whole life. A person who was breastfed and later needs a kidney transplant will be less apt to reject a transplant either from its mother or from its breastfed sibling than a person who was not breastfed. It has nothing to do with love, it has to do with biology. A breastfeeding mother’s physiological rhythms are more attuned to her baby than a bottle feeding mothers. Again it’s not a matter of love or feelings, it’s simply a matter of physiology.
I have to say that I don’t know that I could have succeeded at breastfeeding the first time around if my husband hadn’t believed I could do it. He certainly didn’t need to bottle feed in order to bond with our babies, and he was my one sure cheerleader in the early days. My son-in-law was also my daughter’s chief support as she breastfed her baby. I’m truly sorry that Christian’s wife wasn’t able to breastfeed as she wanted to, I’m truly sorry that the formula she ended up needing to feed was subject to a recall. I’m also sorry if she feels judged because she made the best decision she could under the circumstances she was living with. After all the first rule for all people involved in infant care, including those who thoroughly believe in breastfeeding and the importance of human milk is “feed the baby.”
Kelly
September 23, 2010
Liz — there is no research to back up what you have claimed about the bond of breastfed babies and moms being stronger. Zilch. There are theories about oxytocin but there is simply no good evidence to support your claim.
Christian
September 24, 2010
Liz,
The science/research issues aside (I’m no expert and don’t pretend to be), I think you’re response was one of the most reasonable I’ve heard. There’s nothing wrong with being dedicated and working as hard as you can to achieve something, much like it sounds you did with nursing.
And it was encouraging to read someone who finally said the key point – “feed tha baby”. Moms on both sides of the issue would probably do well to remember that the baby is the most important thing, not the agenda.
dd
September 23, 2010
Thank you foe writing this. It was thoughtfully, and beautifully, stated. I know my husband would say the same things.
Christian
September 24, 2010
DD,
Sounds like you have a smart husband
Amanda
September 23, 2010
This is an awesome article! I love it!
singlemamatalesitall
September 23, 2010
Found this blog from Twitter, I enjoy reading a mans point of view on breastfeeding. This was well written and thanks for sharing.
Sue
September 24, 2010
I found this via a link on a mommy message board. I was going to just say “Amen,” but I see that comment was already taken.
I have both breastfed and formula fed my son, and don’t feel like I need to justify that at all. We’ve done what is best for our family, and my son is a happy, healthy, thriving, adorably chunky little boy. (that being said, I am happy that we switched from Similac to Target brand about a month ago!)
And you know what? Things are recalled all the time, and having used those products doesn’t make you a bad person. I’d be willing to be when we had that spinach recall a while back, there weren’t hordes of moms name-calling and saying “Thank goodness I don’t feed that spinach crap to my children! There’s no E. Coli in my broccoli!”
Christian
September 27, 2010
Sue,
I think we’d all be so much better off if we just remembered that everything we do is what’s best for OUR family, and not necessarily everyone else’s. I can’t tell you the number of arguments I’ve had with in-laws (and others) because my parenting style is different than theirs. As long as the child is, as you say, “happy, healthy, and thriving”, then I think it all falls into the “ain’t broke, don’t fic it” category.
Christian
September 24, 2010
A couple quick links for you:
My buddy and college roomie Ben has weighed in on his site: http://www.onecoolmonkey.com/174/the-case-for-breastfeeding-and-understanding
And his lovely wife, Lisa, offers some alternatives on her chiropractic site. And she’s a doctor!
http://www.chiropracticpathways.com/148/feeding-babies-safe-alternatives-to-breast-milk/
fnkybee
September 27, 2010
Great post! I breastfed my son for 4 weeks, that’s all I could handle and I was done. I think the only reason I did it in the first place is because that was what you are ‘supposed’ to do. blah blah blah. I thought I would try again with my daughter and couldn’t do it because she wouldn’t latch on right and well made me hurt and bleed. I wasn’t too bummed about it because I knew I wasn’t going to last breastfeeding once out of the hospital. So both of my kids were brought up on formula, both healthy as all get out and yes I still developed an unbreakable bond with my children that were *gasp* bottlefed
. I have friends that breastfeed for a year and I have a friend that breastfeeds until her children are 2. yes I said 2 years old..I think it’s crazy and and a tad bit creepy but to each their own and I love her for her dedication. She’s awesome but you know what so are all the other moms that do their own thing, what works for them. I am sorry your wife couldn’t just for the fact of the guilt she is feeling (I felt it to with my daughter) not because it’s what she is ‘supposed’ to be doing. It was great to hear a dad’s view on it to!
Christian
September 27, 2010
My wife’s getting over the guilt little bt little, but it’s hard. Comibned with feeling lousy over geting gestational diabetes and giving birth early, it’s been a rough few weeks. But she’s getting better.
withduckandgoose
September 27, 2010
i think i love you. in a non-creepy, OMG THANK YOU type of way.
well said…everything about this was just right.
Eileen
November 21, 2010
I am commenting a little late on this, but I just came across your blog. Thank you so much for sharing your story. It is so similar to mine, except I have two boys. It is comforting to know I am not alone in my experience or feelings. Sometimes, we need to hear things a couple of times before we ‘get it’ and start to heal. It does take time though. I hope your wife is coming to terms with this and is just enjoying being mom.